Thursday, March 13, 2008

If I Were A Bulldog

and growled and barked all day, then what would you do? I'd be a bulldog Mommy and sit right there with you!
So goes the great children's book If I Were A Moose. My sister, LeighAnn, gave me this book when my first child was born. I love reading it and replace the child's name with my own kids name, depends on who I am reading it too.

But that is not the main point here. Really this is about ANGER. And a grouchy bulldog is how I feel these days. And I want to know: God, if I growl and bark all day, what would you do? I think His answer is the same as the mom in the book: "Well, I'd still be your Father and I will sit right there with you all day too."

I do trust Him enough to know, even when my heart doubts, the Truth. Which brings me to dealing with Anger. As this mom in Australia wrote, just when you think you have overcome the shock, grief, fear and anger of your newborn baby being different than you expected, along comes the first surgery and you start all over again.

We went to our pre-op visit, had Holly's vital's checked, learned about her feeding schedule during the night before the surgery and finally signed those liability release forms. As Lee whispered later in the day "Peg, death wasn't even the last thing that could go wrong. There were two more items on the list!!" We know that is worst case stuff and Holly will be fine, even better than fine when all this is over. Still all those feelings are back.
So here goes the Anger Management/Trust In God/Walk In The Light part. I know it is not quite Divine Mercy Sunday, but will you join me in praying this novena for our daughter, all our children, and especially for God to have Mercy on me and Lee to overcome this anger. Thanks!

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