Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Chandelier

One of my most favorite things is our chandelier. It was a gift from my brother and sister-in-law, that we hand picked from a crystal outlet in Germany on our honeymoon. I carried it all the wya back from Germany. On my lap.

In our old home it hung over the kitchen table because there was no dining room. The sun would hit it and make rainbows all over my kitchen. Lee Allison and I would play with it when he was a baby.

One of his first words was "Chandelier".

I tell you all this because we met with the speech therapist for Holly's eval today. She is, as I suspected, at the 10 mos old level for actual speech. So of course, the therapist being kind and helpful gave me suggestions to help Holly have more opportunities to talk. She is very kind and nice and lovely, the therapist.

Inside, I'm thinking to myself "Chandelier".

It is just one more of those moments when what I want and think is "normal" is just not what Holly needs.

I want her to be able to help herself, so I put a sippy cup of water out for her to get by herself when she is thirsty. My other children had full sippy cups in the fridge, and I taught them to go get it themselves. But that is not what Holly needs. She needs a chance to say "cup".

I want her to be able to help herself, so I put a small bowl of dry cereal on her little snack table. My other children had snack bags in the pantry, and I taught them to go get it themselves. But that is not what Holly needs. She needs a chance to say "more".

Saying all this, just to get the point across, that Holly speech or lack thereof, is not my fault. And if your baby is struggling, it's not your fault either. These babies just need a different opportunity than what I expected.

And most important, God knew even better than me. Our cleft team did not recommend Holly for ST, but we ran into a friend at the pool who knew who to call. And finally at last, some one will teach me what it is that Holly needs now.

Time to "launch out into the deep" and "be not afraid!"
John 21:7 Matthew 14:27

1 comment:

mum2twelve said...

Very insightful! We all have to be so careful not burden following children the expectations we create based on the previous example of another child. One child will be quick to notice a younger sibling needs help while another child blythly drinks the last of the milk and never mentions it. Yet - it never fails that we often unconsciously expect our children to almost be cut from same cookie molds - after all they have the same parents, right? :-)

Blessings
Christi