What Can You Control?

By doubling the amount Prevacid that Holly takes, she is totally, completely a different baby. She will sit happily in her stroller, for a really long time if you are outside! She will ride in the car anywhere, anytime, happily. I am amazed.

Of course, I have to wonder about giving her this medicine. Anyone would.

I remember, though, when Lee and I decided to take our oldest off of ADD medicine. At that same time new research was published to indicate that if your ADD child was left untreated, they would be more likely to be addicted to drugs later in their teen years.

What a very difficult thing to read at that particular time. But a friend threw a life line out to me. She said you can not control what will happen in the future, you can only do what you believe is the very best now.

That was 5 years ago. If you ever meet my oldest, or know him now, you'll agree the ADD diagnosis was not appropriate. Taking him off medication was a good decision for us.

So, I am left to trust that this decision, to double her medicine is a good one too. And pray that God will control the rest.

Company Beef

A friend passed along this recipes a few years ago. It is one of our favorites. Good to serve when you have company, simple to make.

3 lbs stew beef, or your choice, cut into bite size pieces
1 can mushroom soup
1 can onion soup
3/4 cup red wine (best) or water (very good too)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix soups and wine, add beef. Cook, uncovered for 1 1/2 hours. Or in a crock pot on low for 5-6 hrs, on high for 3-4 hrs.

Serve over noodles or rice (for company) or on rolls for sandwiches. Yum.

I always pick up a pack of this stew beef or "kabob" cuts when I see them marked down to have in the freezor. 4 ingredients. So good.

Holly Marie - 6 Months

.ps Surgery Date

Next surgery for soft palate is next Wednesday.

Beast of Burden

Last note for today: What a sense of relief yesterday, to think: God can carry Holly all the way through this surgery. I trust Him that much. I can be free to pray for someone else. Thinking about trying to pray hard enough to "heal" Holly is wearing me down. Trying to just "think about that tomorrow" is almost as hard. Nothing takes your mind off your own problems like praying for someone else.

Jesus, I Trust Holly to You.

Enough? Feast?

How can enough be as good as a feast? Does the last bite taste as good as the first? Or does the first bite always taste best?

Certainly there are plenty of biblical references to "enough is as good as a feast." But I will share my favorite three:

1. Ruth eats lunch with Boaz. She eats her portion (enough) and saves the rest for Naomi. Ruth Ch. 2 14:18 How cool is that? Boaz gave her a feast, Ruth had enough, and sacrificed some to share with Naomi.

2. If you are dining with a great man, bring not a greedy gullet to his table, Nor cry out, "How much food there is here!" Sirach 31 12:20. There is really alot more to this, check it out! This is pretty cut and dried, no bones about it: Gluttony is bad.

3. When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not recline at table in the place of honor. A more distinguished guest than you may have been invited by him.. Luke 14:8-10. Even Jesus tells us not to be first in line. It is better to put yourself aside for others.

I have been thinking about this today, along with my sacrifice focus. The food is not more important than the people I am praying for. How much more simple can it get?

No Vanilla Baby

This week's speech therapy did not quite go as smoothly as the last. After an hour in the bland white walled office, Holly had had it. Really, I mean crying till she was purple. The OT was kind enough to "wait" for Holly to calm down. But you know, she can out last the Engerizer Bunny when it comes to crying. I finally called it quits, and requested we try again next week.

One thing I have noticed about Ms. Fiesty, is that she likes VARIETY. She likes outside especially with lots of flowers. She likes motion and color. Reminds me of Morgan Freeman in "Robin Hood" when he proclaims " Allah likes wonderous variety!"

God certainly does like wonderous variety, and Holly appreciates it all.

Enough is as good as a feast!

Really it is. Three years ago, God answered a prayer that I had made in my usual half hearted weak faith. I think I whispered it while sitting beside the neighborhood pool one summer day. "God, how can I lose this weight. I do not know how, please show me."

Shortly after that my sister called to tell me about a new prayer/wieght loss program. I really didn't listen and she had to remind me a few times about the first meeting. The program is The Light Weigh created by Suzanne Fowler. Bottom line: I lost 70 lbs in about 9 months and kept it off for another year and half, until Holly was on the way :-)

Now I have a few more pounds to get back to where I was, but have been having difficulty finding a focus. Today's revelation is this: You'd think Holly's upcoming surgery would be focus enough. But it is not. I am paralyzed by the thought. Not moved to action (sacrificing food) and prayer.

Fortunately, God is our God of Second Chances, and I can find a new focus, which I have something that will move me in mind. And I can trust that all the prayers on Holly's behalf will be sufficient, even if I am not focused on that surgery. Thank you God, that other prayers will carry us through the next several weeks. Thank you for showing me that I can sacrifice for someone else and trust You to take care of Holly. Me being paralyzed by fear does no good, but sacrifice and prayer, for whatever reason, will release God's grace and mercy into our world.

What a refreshing thought for my day: Enough is as Good as a Feast. Really it is.

13!

Who is this really tall young man anyway?

I remember....like it was yesterday, how little Lee was riding in the car beside me to visit Dad at the job site, with that little toboggan just big enough for Dad to see the top of your hat.

I remember...like it was yesterday, that your first word was "no" and that I knew at that moment I must quit my job to be at home with you all the time.

I remember...like it was yesterday, you read every book on the list to earn that reading trophy. It was almost bigger than you!

I remember...like it was yesterday, that I was taller than you. Maybe that was yesterday!

Congratulations Lee on this milestone in your life! You are a fine young man. Keep learning, keep the Faith. Love Mom.

Sing a New Song

Somehow, I have got to replace this broken record in my mind. After the most recent doctor visit, this time to a speech therapist, all I can think is "Why didn't some one tell me?" Isn't there some Star Trek like Computer for medical information?

Computer, what is the schedule for treatment of a cleft lip and palate, include all possible treatments?

Computer, what are the effects of reflux on an infant with a cleft lip and palate?

Can't you just hear Picard confidently commanding information? Then, of course, the whole problem would be solved with one of those benign shots that sound like an air freshner?

So, Holly does need speech therapy, now. Not later. And the drooling is related to weak muscles in her mouth, not reflux. Wow. Now Holly and I get to sing silly songs and excerise her lip. I can not tell you how very grateful I am that I read about the other babies already getting speech therapy. Nothing like the voice of experience to spur me on! Why wait for a doctor?

Someone did tell me, just not who I was expecting too. Thus, the need for a new song. Instead of repeating that broken record over and over, I need find a new song to sing. One that is more grateful, way less resentful. Sing a New Song Unto the Lord!